Angels of Love
by ChameleonArch
Summary: The Doctor has just lost Rose, Rose has just lost him, but a new twist to the story of them finding each other 'cuz i hate the original. Enjoy!


Angel

**Angel by Aerosmith, I don't own this beautiful song or Doctor Who. I just heard this song and decided it was definitely meant for these two lovely people.**

_I'm alone_

_Yeah, I don't know if I can face the night_

_I'm in tears_

_And the crying that I do is for you_

The Doctor stumbled into the TARDIS, hand and hearts empty as they grasped at nothing; both reached for someone that was no longer there. And it was his fault. The only, tiny, little bit of hope that it gave him was that at least she hadn't fallen into the Void with the rest of the Daleks and Cybermen. But that ray of light was completely overshadowed by his grief that she was gone, never to return to him again.

"She's with her family," he said aloud, almost shocked by the sound of his thick, choked voice startling the air. "At least she's safe with her family." But when he had put his cheek to the wall, he could feel her tears and warmth heavily on him, and knew she would give it all to come back to him. And then it had faded, and he was left alone. All alone once more, and all alone because he had done it again. He'd committed genocide, a double genocide, and at the same time, he killed his hearts by sacrificing his Rose, his beautiful, beautiful Valiant Child, Rose. Pressing his hand against the TARDIS' controls, he felt an empathetic heat under his fingers, and he tiredly pushed a few controls, moved a lever wearily, than circled the TARDIS' heart with a chest-heaving sigh. He disregarded the TARDIS' sympathetic hum and fell into the captain's chair by the controls. He felt very, very, very tired, but he didn't want to sleep. He had always slept with her breath in his ears, whether because he fell asleep in her room, tinkering with some mechanical device, or because the TARDIS directed her sounds of sleep through the walls to his room. But there were more than a couple sentient walls between him and his Rose now; there were solid, cold, indifferent walls of time and space that would never conform to his wish.

A pair of silent, hot tears slid down his cheeks as he stared into the wall, too depressed to even think of any way to get her back. All that he knew was that he had lost her, he had lost her, and he couldn't get her back this time. She wouldn't show up in a blaze of golden time webs, she couldn't press a button and appear in front of him, and he couldn't reach just that much further to grab her hand. Because that hand was now more than miles away, it was dimensions away, dimension he couldn't cross. He curled up just a little bit more, eyes wide but dry as he thought of how cruel time was and how short it was, and he waited for his usual pervading nightmares to be magnified by this loss. But he couldn't sleep. He didn't think he'd ever be able to.

"No!" she screamed, pounding her hands on the wall. "No! DOCTOR!" She wasn't aware of her parents' sadden stares, nor of Jake and Mickey's awkward shuffling as they tried to remove themselves from the display Rose made without being obvious about it. She didn't even notice the tears streaming down her face. Only that she couldn't feel him anymore, only that his double heart-beat was gone forever, only that his hand wasn't tightly wrapped around hers anymore. Just seconds before, she had felt his cheek on hers, his steady breath brushing her face so gently, his hand on hers, and now it was gone, he was gone. And her heart felt like it had been ripped asunder, blood pouring down instead of tears, sticking and burning down her throat to froth and roil in her stomach.

"I promised him…" she managed to sob out in a whisper. She swallowed tightly. "I promised him forever…" She turned to her mother, the only one that could possibly help in this heartbreak. "Who's going to hold his hand now?" she choked out before falling into Jackie's arms, soaking her mum's jacket almost instantly with the tears, falling thick and fast. Jackie knew how Rose felt, because she had gone through it once too.

"You will find him again," she said firmly. "Just like I found my Pete, again, you'll find your Doctor. Or, God help him, I will slap him into this dimension." Rose couldn't even think his name now. She wasn't sure what she wanted more right now other than the Doctor, but she wanted a bed. She needed to sleep. Maybe she would have dreams of him; maybe that was sufficient. She knew she was lying to herself, but it was all she had now. Memories and dreams.

_I want your love_

_Let's break the walls between us_

_Don't make it tough _

_I'll put away my pride_

_Enough's enough_

_I've suffered and I've seen the light_

The Doctor stared out over the beach.

"Where are we? Where'd the gap come out?" he asked Rose. She blinked back, eyes already filmed with tears. She just wanted to hold him, but he was just an image. No touch.

"We're in Norway,"

"Norway, right," he nodded, trying to keep himself composed, to keep himself from trying to hold her.

"About fifty miles out of Burgan," she paused to keep the tears back, pretending that they were just chatting, like normal. She focused on the pronunciation. "It's called Darlig Ulv Stranden."

"Dalek?" he couldn't help sounding worried as it brought awful memories back to him. What if this world wasn't protected from Daleks then? To have a place named after them, they could have conquered that world and might come back. What if Rose was in a worse world, where he couldn't protect her?

"Dar-_lig_," she accentuated, noting that he sounded worried and almost smiled, if not for the fact that her Doctor was standing there, looking so real, and she was unable to touch him. "It's Norwegian for bad," Rose looked away at the waters and sand with a dry laugh that only emphasized the ironic circumstance they were in. "It translates as Bad Wolf Bay." He grinned, but it didn't match the dark misery in his eyes, and it quickly fell. "How long have you got?"

"About two minutes," he watched her briefly break down, than regain herself.

"I can't think what to say," she cried slightly, dragging the hair from her eyes as it blew into her face. She wanted to see him for as long as she could. He laughed slightly. He had so much he wanted to say, wanted, but he couldn't.

"You've still got Mr. Mickey, then," he nodded at her family and friends far back by the truck. A tiny bit of hot jealousy embittered his tongue as he said this. He knew Rose and Mickey were over, just friends now, but he couldn't even think of another man being part of Rose's life like he himself had. It hurt too much to imagine her marrying, or even dating, another man. Another man apart from him.

"There's five of us now," Rose listed. "Mum, Dad, Mickey… and the baby. The Doctor blinked, surprised.

"You're not…" his tone was gentle; if Rose read into it enough, she would describe it as loving and tender.

"No," she shook her head and laughed a little at his worried expression. "It's Mum, she's three months gone, more Tylers on the way."

"But what about you, are you…?" his voice was still so soft, concerned, wanting her but unable to have her.

"Yeah, I'm back working in the shop," she didn't mean to sound bitter, and he only heard the tone that meant she missed the stars and traveling with him, maybe she just missed him.

"Oh, good for you," he tried to joke.

"Oh shut up," she laughed, feeling for a moment their old times coming back. "No, I'm not. There's still a Torchwood on this planet, it's open for business." Her voice quivered. "I think I know a thing or two about aliens."

"Rose Tyler," the Doctor smiled, so proud of her she felt her cheeks heat up. "Defender of the Earth." She only looked back, trying as hard as she could to keep the tears from falling. "You're dead, officially back home," he tried to sound business-like, casual, but this was hurting his hearts more than he thought it would. "So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on the list of the dead." She looked down, knowing that she would've been counted as dead either way, missing with the Doctor on another adventure or stuck here. She could've gone missing with the Doctor, but she'd been swallowed by this world. "Here you are, living a life day after day." His voice lowered, tinged with sadness. "The one adventure I can never have." The sadness wasn't that he couldn't, rather that he couldn't with Rose. He never even had a chance of life with her, not really, not a proper one. Not one that would last for both their forevers. Life wasn't kind, though. It wasn't all happy endings, certainly not now.

"Am I ever going to see you again?" she sobbed, voice broken and husky with tears.

"You can't," his voice was filled with too many sorry's to count.

"What're you gonna do?" she tried to calm down, but the tears were in earnest flow now, and she could only swipe at them as they came. They froze on her cheeks in the cold Norwegian air.

"Oh, I've got the TARDIS," he swallowed thickly as he tried to put on a brave front. "Same old life, last of the Time Lords."

"On your own?" Rose didn't want him to be, but he nodded, eyes dark. "I lov-" she choked on the teary stone in her throat. She swallowed, regained her composure, and tried again, looking him straight in the eyes. "I love you."

"Quite right too," he replied softly, eyes soft and wet with unspoken devotion and tenderness. "And I suppose, if it's one last chance to say it," he can't pause; he goes straight ahead, skipping all the unnecessary, trivial detail. "I love you, Rose Tyler." She gasps with tears as he fades away into the wind. She swore she could hear the TARDIS' familiar looping sound of time and space being ripped apart to make room for the madman in a mad blue box. She managed to smile, but her heart was too tender and sore for that. All she had now was his last words: that he loved her, and that held her heart's many shattered pieces together like hastily placed band-aids. At the end of it all, now she knew how he felt, and they could never see each other again, it was heartbreakingly unfair.

_You're my angel_

_Come and save me tonight_

_You're my angel_

_Come and make it alright_

Rose felt like she had broke a promise. Like he had broken their promise. He had asked, and she had said she'd be with him forever. This was her forever, and she was spending it crying, locked up in her room. She should be finding out how to get back to him again. Her lonely angel, the god of Gallifrey, a dark angel of Gallifrey with all his age in his eyes and a youthful exuberance in his smile, Rose couldn't not smile at that.

"_I love you, Rose Tyler."_

"Quite right, too," she smiled to herself amidst the tears soaking her wet pillow. Rose struggled up from the bed and set her mind on him. Her mum had been right; she would find him again, if it took her the rest of her life. Because those words kept her fighting, kept her hoping. She would fight and struggle and sacrifice to hear those words again, to hear them, and to smell, feel, touch, see, and taste the words on his lips.

The Doctor was watching the reception, wondering why he didn't have Rose with him once more. It was his payment to Time for messing everything up so badly, he supposed, and for destroying his people. Distractedly, his eyes found a flash of familiar blonde hair, and he was back in the New-New Earth hospital, catching and re-catching Rose when she fell. Weak from Cassandra's possession of her body, she had felt so fragile and delicate. He wouldn't have let go then if he had known what would happen. But as usual, he was woken from his miserable daydream to hurry off and save someone from dying. How did he end up here? Everything had been a blur since he had told Rose he loved her. Had it really only been maybe five hours ago he had said that? It felt like decades. He needed her back so bad. Donna was only a distraction from his messed up love life; if you could call it a life since it had never even had a chance to breathe.

"Rose, where are you?" he murmured to himself. "I need you."

"C'mon, people," Rose called. She was a woman on a mission, and everyone left alive after the Battle of Canary Wharf in this parallel world hastened to obey the impassioned woman's commands. "We need to get this going!"

No one wondered why she was so fervent on getting this completed quickly. Everyone knew why, and everyone understood, because they all felt the same. No one wanted to stop looking for the ones they loved because stopping meant giving up, meant they were dead, meant they would never find them. Rose's loved one was in another dimension, though, and although seemingly impossible, Rose was making it happen because she wanted it to. She needed it to.

Months had passed since Canary Wharf, though, and the Dimension Cannon was still in the preliminary stages, not even that, more like prototype, computer-diagram phase. No one was even sure if it would work, but no one wanted to argue with a woman fighting for the one she loved. She was only trying to do what they had been trying to do since the Void's entrance collapsed. Find and reunite with their loved ones: friends, family, and lovers alike.

No one was going to argue with Rose's ambition. No one wanted to break her heart.

_Don't know what I'm gonna do_

_About this feeling inside._

_Yes it's true,_

_Loneliness took me for a ride, yeah, yeah!_

The Doctor nursed his wounds alone in the TARDIS. Without Donna's brazen attitude and nicknames of 'Spaceman' and 'Martian' attacking him, he was lost in his thoughts of Rose. He tried to keep his pain locked away, than blamed it on Donna's refusal of traveling with him (no one did that!) but he knew it was for Rose, whom he still missed, loved, and ached for. The loneliness was impressing on him in its silence, and he felt crushed by it all. He needed to keep moving, keep moving on. Like he always had. But he couldn't. He felt physically worn, his age weighing down on him like an elephant had just sat on his chest. The tears were dry now, but he rubbed his face habitually anyways, cold and alone with only the gentle humming of the TARDIS as his sole companion.

"I don't need anyone," he lied to himself. "I'm fine on my own." The smell of marmalade and bananas drifted from the kitchen; the TARDIS always knew when he felt bad, and she knew his comfort food. But his comfort foods reminded him of her. When the sickening, choking smell of pears filled the room, he realized she was serious. Get in the kitchen, now, was basically what she was telling him. Gagging on the pear-smell, he ducked into the kitchen to see an opened jar of marmalade and a ripe, yellow banana. He prodded both with a long finger, wondering what to do with either, because he really didn't feel like eating. In fact, he just felt ill, hearts-sick. The marmalade jar was twisted open, almost tentative, tempting him. But he wasn't able to move right now. A sharp gust of air shocked him.

"What?" he snapped to the TARDIS. "Stoppit, would you?" She let out a piercing whistle, causing his ears to shriek with pain. "What? Would you stop that? Why are you doing this?" The groan the TARDIS made obviously cleared it all up. "I'm not moping! Have you ever heard of mourning?" He realized the mistake he had made as soon as he said these words. "I know she's not dead, but it feels like it! She might as well be! I can't get to her, and you know that I LOVE HER!" The TARDIS settled as he blurted this out. "At least I told her before…" he couldn't imagine her not knowing that he loved her now; he needed her to know that, and he was lucky he'd had time to say it before he could even think about it. Because, if he had thought about it he wouldn't have had time, and he would've been an utter coward for not saying it. He had been a coward before, but this would have had no excuse. She needed to know, and he needed to say it. He just needed to say it again to remind himself.

"I love her," he repeated quietly. "So then, what'm I doing?" He shot out of his chair. The TARDIS hummed happily as the Doctor finally set to what she had been prodding him to do since Rose had left. Find a way to get her back. Because nothing was impossible when you had a sentient time machine and more than 900 years of past experience, and nothing was impossible with the Doctor.

They would have to meet somewhere in the middle if they were both trying.

_Without your love_

_I'm nothing but a beggar_

_Without your love_

_A dog without a bone_

_What can I do? _

_I'm sleeping in this bed alone_

Rose's bed felt empty without the Doctor's familiar warmth. Not that he always slept in her bed, but he sometimes did, when she had nightmares (or vice versa, though he would never admit it), or when they had to such as after an exhausting adventure and they accidentally fell asleep in the library or while the Doctor was helping Rose to her room they both fell asleep together. Okay, so a lot of the time he had fallen asleep in her bedroom, but it was, most of the time, accidental when it did happen. She curled up, knees hugged to her chest as she pretended she could feel his hearts beat against hers, strangely double-beating around the thudding in her blood. She begged inwardly for him to return to her, because she didn't know how to get to him fast enough.

"It isn't working," she mumbled to herself, wishing he could hear her. "The Dimension Cannon… there really isn't any possible way to get it working, and if it ever did, it would take years. Would you still want me then?"

The Doctor poured over the maps, maps of time and space he had collected from the closets and rooms and libraries all over the TARDIS; the collection alone had taken a day to put together, and now he refused sleep as he drew up charts and read and reread the timelines, time maps, and space maps.

"If I could just…" he mumbled to himself, pencil in hand as he traced a solitary line, scribbled a couple equations on one of the many used sheets of paper next to him, frowned as he checked it against records. "I know that… try 1947… maybe…" Chewing his thin bottom lip, he tasted blood as he bit too hard. "No, I don't need a tea, TARDIS." He snapped. "What kind of timing do you have for a time machine?" He turned back to the papers and maps. "Now, I know that supposedly all the rifts sealed, but I also know that rifts act more like the tectonic plates, shifting and moving and smashing, opening and closing, creating mountains and trenches. So, if I can figure out a way to track the movements, I can find a hole in the universes large enough to pull her through again…" The TARDIS chuckled lightly at that. "I know it's unlikely!" His temper rose once more as he banged his fist on the table. "But what do you want me to do?" The TARDIS gently reminded him she had just meant it would be difficult, and possibly impossible.

"I know that," he grinned a tired, crooked grin. "But it's worth it, and I can't think of anything else to do. Besides, I like the impossible." And, with that, he dove straight back into the books. Back to the arduous, long, impossible task of searching for his Rose.

_You're my angel_

_Come and save me tonight_

_You're my angel_

_Come and make it alright_

_Come and save me tonight_

Rose stopped, her ears picking up something she hadn't heard in months, almost a year now. The familiar sound twisted her guts as her heart pounded in her chest. If she had been any less sure of the Doctor, she would've passed it off as a figment of her imagination, but she trusted him with all her heart and being. That was why she fled from the Torchwood building to run across the broken sidewalks, looking for a madman in his mad blue box, her wonderfully mad man with the weight of all worlds on his shoulders. Her heart pumping furiously in her chest, she skidded across dry leaves and slid to a stop. There he was, standing all cocky and proud, solid as he leaned on the worn blue box behind him, and despite the dark circles around his eyes, the crazy way his hair was skewed around (rather, she found it very attractive), and the tiredness his shoulders drooped with, she had never seen anything more beautiful. It only took four of her heartbeats, eight of his, for her to run into his arms. He lifted her off the earth and swung her around as if she were five, both of them laughing and grinning and crying and screaming at each other, so happy that Rose didn't even think anything of leaning up and pressing a warm kiss to his lips.

_You're the reason I live_

_You're the reason I die_

_You're the reason I give _

_When I break down and cry_

_Don't need no reason why_

He eagerly returned it, pressing his tongue to her lips tentatively and she gasped his breath in, permitting entry. She breathed in the smell of him, time and age with that hint of marmalade and bananas, and he could smell the familiar scent of almonds and cherries, smoothing over into a buttery cocoa that filled his mouth and nose. He was choking on her scent and loving every single minute of it. He slid his hands apart, one to her hips to bring her closer to him, and one to her hair to trickle the golden strands through his fingers, making sure she was here, that he was here, that he had her in his arms and on his lips. He only let her go occasionally for breath.

_Humans, _he thought with a sigh, caressing her neck with kisses as she moaned and breathed in again. As soon as he knew she'd breathed enough again, he captured her lips once more and realized he never wanted to stop, he wanted more of her. She was already tugging at his tie, loosening it to slip over his head, as his fingers fumbled at her shirt's buttons. She shoved off his jacket and ran a hand from his collar to the hem of his shirt to pull out the buttons, her fingers sweetly brushing his chest made even the Time Lord gasp her in once more. She pressed a and against the door of the TARDIS, but the Doctor swiftly turned her around so he could push open the door. They fell into the TARDIS, oblivious to her gentle chuckle as the Doctor chased Rose into his room.

_You're my angel!_

"Doctor!" her voice split the silence with that moan as his kisses swept from her mouth to her bare abdomen.

_Come and save me tonight…_

"Oh, Rose," he murmured into her mouth before she let him wriggle out of his pants. Well, she did help.

_You're my angel,_

"Need help?" he laughed breathlessly as Rose struggled from her own skinny jeans.

"Could you?" she replied, eyes glinting merrily. She couldn't believe it was the Doctor, here, tonight, and he was helping her take off her pants. She was very nearly freaking out, and would've, but it was her Doctor, and she trusted him so completely.

_Come and make it alright…!_

Finally ending with kicking off his Converse and socks, the Doctor let Rose pull him into his bed and proceeded to smother his face with kisses as soft as butterflies and sweeter than sugar. Her hands trailed from his well-muscled back, tangling in his hair and caressing his bare skin. Every touch gave him tingles, every stroke sent her wild, and every time their tongues touched (which was approximately every .5 seconds), they fell more and more in love with the other. Rose could feel her heart already overloading, exploding with the heat and adoration she felt for him, and the Doctor, having two hearts, had already given her both.

_You're my angel…_

_Come and save me tonight_

_You're my angel,_

Rose wrapped her legs around his waist, arms around his neck, his hands pressed down on the pillow around her head as he pressed hot, melting kisses into the corners of her mouth and eyes, down her cheeks, past her neck and down her abdomen as far as he could reach. Rose could only sigh and moan with each touch of burning love, feeling like she didn't deserve such attentions, but loving him so completely she forgave him for loving someone as imperfect as her. Not that he was, either, but his darkness was what had drawn her in the first place. Now it kept her, his grief and pain made her realize that, more than anything, he needed her more than she needed him, which meant he needed her a lot. And she would be happy to provide anything for him.

_Come and take me alright_

_Come and save me tonight_

_Come and save me tonight_

_Come and save me tonight_

_Come and save me tonight_

_Come and save me tonight_

"Mum's gonna kill me," Rose breathed out as they finally settled, but she grinned tiredly at the Doctor, who only kept smiling back. He hadn't stopped smiling since he had found her again, and he hoped he would always smile while he was with her again.

"Correction, she's going to kill me," the Doctor hungrily nibbled on her ear, biting sharply in key points he had quickly learned turned her on.

"Nooo…" Rose mumbled sleepily. "I'm tired…" she shot him a mischievous glare. "Go to bed." And she leaned up to kiss him once more. "Night, Doctor."

"Night, Rose," he nuzzled her neck as she yawned once more, settled her arms around him tightly, and fell asleep against his double heartbeat, pounding soundly in her ear. He gripped her tightly to him and waited for her to wake so he could kiss her without fear of waking. He had worked far too long to be satisfied by one night. And he knew that he'd have to face Jackie soon, before the TARDIS had to leave this dimension once more, or she'd have his head for leaving Pete's World with her daughter, another dimension or no.

"Love you, Doctor," her breath hissed out against his chest as she woke slightly, almost as if his busy thoughts had been so serious they woke her.

"Love you too," he replied softly, both hearts meaning it with every cell in his body. "Forever?"

"Forever," and she ran a hand through his hair with a sleepy smile before they both fell asleep in their room.


End file.
